To fit in VS. To belong

To fit in VS. to belong

I was amazed to find out that the opposite of fitting in is to belong. And then it all makes sense.

When you try to fit in, you change yourself to be accepted in a certain group. It can be family, work, friends, parents' reunions, or school when you’re a teenager. Asking ourselves what to wear, how to act, what to say, or what subjects to avoid—this feeling is the opposite of the feeling of belonging. When you belong, those questions are not even in your mind. You’re just you, you act without thinking, you can laugh loudly, or share what’s on your mind. You feel deep connections, security, and authenticity.

You recharge your energy when you belong. In contrast, you feel drained by fitting in; it demands you to make an effort to be who you are not, a constant control.

Here is an example: You know the feeling of being exhausted after a dinner at work, where you need to show your best side because the big boss is there and you want to make a good impression. On the other hand, you spend a night with your best friend, just sharing your life, your ups and downs, laughing and maybe crying, and at the end, this feels so good. You get out of it with happiness.

So look at your life, no judgment, just observe. Are you always trying to fit in? Or is most of your life a feeling of belonging?

The good news is, the more you reconnect with yourself, the more you feel that you belong. And if you truly love yourself, you won't care if you’re not. You just stop draining your energy by trying to fit in.

Loving yourself is not just looking in the mirror and saying “I love you.” It is embracing who you are without having to justify yourself or change yourself to be accepted. Find the people and the place where you belong, and walk away from the rest.

That’s what I wish for every being on earth and that’s the purpose of what I do.

Love you!